By: Amy RubioDisney, television and the media put such an unrealistic perception on love. That there is a man, man sees woman, woman falls in love with man, and they live happily ever after. Not only is love restricted to heterosexual people, but "happily ever after" bugs me so much! What happens after "happily ever after?" What are the perceptions on love that are being thrown at us everyday? And what about the concept, "Love at first sight?"
I know I had my own misconceptions about love (no thanks to Disney). However, I never bought into "love at first sight." I am cynical about that at best. It is more about "Lust at first sight." Can love really be born so quickly? To see someone's face in an instance and immediately "know" you love them? I don't buy into that one bit.
I, personally, can not stand it when people throw the word "love" around. I knew someone once that would say, "I love you" after knowing/dating the person only a day. Repeat. A DAY! I could not believe it. Maybe he really felt that way or only said it because he felt that is what the other person wanted to hear. I don't know. But I think the concept of "love at first sight" makes it so love can be seen as a fleeting thing that can come and go instantly. In this day and age, has love become something that you can get and throw away at will? Easily disposable? Is love just some fleeting emotion to be tossed aside when you've no use for it anymore?
Also, for some reason, sex has been sensationalized into representing love. Thanks society. Pressures are placed on everyone in terms of sex and love. You don't truly love someone unless you have sex with them and vice versa. Since when is sex they way to show someone you love them? I know I was pressured into having sex, but what's surprising is most of the pressure came from my three elder sisters and my twin. They thought I was prudish because I was a virgin at the age of 17/18 and that I did not ever want to talk about sex with them or learn about their experiences. I am sorry. Is there a requirement or memo I never heard of that says you have to lose your virginity by this age otherwise you are a prudish, stuck-up bitch?All I know is that they all lost their virginity around the age of seventeen and not one of them has that guy they gave it to in their life anymore. I did not want that for myself. I did not want a guy to have sex with me only because he was attracted to my body. I wanted someone who cared about me; my mind, my heart, my soul. Not some piece of flesh to get pleasure from. Sex meant and still means more to me than just pleasure or satisfaction.
I was nineteen when I lost my virginity. It was to the man I am currently dating and he gave me his virginity as well. I knew him as a friend for a year and then dated him for six months and within that time period (no sex) I realized that I loved him. It was gradual and slow to come, but when the realization sank in I knew I wanted to grow old with him. We both shared our feelings for each other before sex was even in the picture. Even so, we waited another two moths before we both felt ready for sex. I just don't see why sex is placed at the forefronts of relationships. Our way of saying "I love you" is just being together, enjoying each others' company, and learning about each other. Sex does not define or solidify our love for each other and nor should it have to.
I am the only one out of my sisters that is in a serious relationship where marriage is in the foreseeable future. It saddens me because I am the youngest sister, yet the one most likely to get married first. It would not be so saddening if I knew that my sisters did not want to get married or if they were completely okay with being single. But I know they are looking for love just as I have, yet sex play a large part in their search when it shouldn't. Sex does not equate to someone loving you and I feel that many young women are being sent that damaging message. I honestly can't say why I turned out completely different in this area than all my other sisters but whatever it was, I am thankful for.
Lastly, "happily ever after," is another damaging message sent to young women. It implies that once you do fall in love, everything magically works out perfectly...which is entirely untrue. Relationships are work! It is hard work. Relationships are about learning about who your partner is and learning who to live with each other and make things work. Every relationship has some issues and kinks that need to be addressed. It deals with compromise on both sides, not on just one side. I know my relationship is not perfect, but I also know that we are both willing to take the time to sit down, gather our thoughts, and talk about any issue that may come up. Willingness to listen to each others; view is extremely important in order to come up with an acceptable solution for both of you. No relationship is a "happily ever after." But if you work at it, it can be very fulfilling.










