So I just recently stumbled upon this essay this morning that was
posted on facebook by a friend of mine. It was a little long but I persisted through it simply because it was so captivating and the fact that I found my own experiences being described. The premise of the essay is talking about how young girls, mainly middle school age, are targeted as sexual victims. They are often sexually assaulted and don't know what to do about it because it is "not rape". It's a pretty scary article if you have or know someone who has tween-age daughters. Basically, our culture blames them for being sexually taken advantage of, be it comments in the mall or actual physical contact with older men. 1. They are blamed for dressing provocatively when just the year before they were in 5TH GRADE with no boobs yet. This is such a critical time for girls developing. They don't know how to deal with it, and in my case, my mom was never expecting such things to happen to me (harassment) because she grew up in a different time.And on a different note, I'm tired of being harassed for dressing in a manner that shows my shape. HELLO, THAT IS MY BODY. For a long time, and sometimes even now, it makes me feel ashamed of my body.
2. These girls are CHILDREN. They can not make decisions for themselves involving sexual relations. They just can't. They are not mentally developed enough to handle such a responsibility. I remember being 12 years old in the grocery store with my mom and having a man HER AGE approach me... it's disgusting and ridiculous and it happens every day, to women aged 11 to 100... it needs to stop. Men need to know that our bodies are NOT THEIRS but OURS and they do not have any right to stare, poke, prod, touch, approach, whistle, comment, or even THINK about a women without her permission.
Can you tell I'm mad?
Here's the link : Not Rape Epidemic
1 comments:
Thank you for your post, Amy. There's a lot of contemplation that needs to go into prepubescent/adolescent sexuality as it is portrayed societally [media: tv, movies, magazines, books, etc.] I have noticed over time the manner in which these girls dress and what is being marketed to them that maybe should not be.
Everytime I go to look for clothes for my three year old niece, I always leave the store a little shaken. She's three and being targeted for clothes that are essentially miniature versions of what a teenager, or even myself, would wear.
The societal urge to glorify youth and equate it with beauty has, in my opinion, just gone too far. I believe there should be clearer boundaries for young girls as far as fashion and beauty, let alone relationships and sexuality-- but they often go hand in hand to degrees.
As for your comment on being tired of being harassed for dressing for your shape--I know what you mean. As a woman with some curves, I too feel almost bad sometimes given the comments/looks/grunts and what have you that I get when I actually where something that shows my shape. I feel like I must zip/button it up--until I remember that their trivialization of me cannot undermine my finely built sense of confidence that took a long time to establish. But it is true: the images we see in the media contradict what we are actually supposed to be if WE OWN IT. If we allow objectification, it's ok, but if we choose self created autonomy as far as appearances--suddenly we are 'sluts' and so forth.
As for young girls and their ability to define/decide their sexuality--I agree with you only because their perception to begin with is so distorted and dishonest due to media representation of an inauthentic nature. Young girls and women need to be taught very early to own their own sexuality-and their own definitions of what makes this up. This will be a battle considering the many contradictions they will face concerning women's autonomy in reproduction and sexuality.
Thank you for your thought provoking post, Amy! So glad to have you as a part of Phem!
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