By: Elizabeth
I'm listening to Belle from Beauty and the Beast (at Youtube.com) and I couldn't help thinking about Gaston, the hunk who wanted to marry Belle and his plans to marry Belle. Belle is the main character of the story and the most beautiful woman in the village, however, she's rather odd because she likes to read a lot, that and she's the inventor's daughter. Gaston only wanted to marry Belle because she was the most beautiful female in town, thus making her the "best" and since he deserved the "best"- he desired her. Gaston and Belle had nothing in common, Belle also wanted nothing to do with him. Gaston, however, proceeded to ruin Belle's, the Beast's and other's lives for his quest of marrying a beautiful woman he hardly knew.
When I was younger, the story line was too complex for me to understand it's underlying tones. All I saw was a girl who had man falling over her because she was the most beautiful despite the fact that she was the odd one. (yeah, even at a young age I had issues with the way I look) Look at the message writing like this is sending our young girls, that in order to be loved you have to be beautiful YET you should look inside the heart of others if you are going to love them. This them and others I am referring to are men, does this sound like I am over generalizing? Yes, however, it seems that the media has started telling us at a young age that we have to look our best in order to be accepted!
Now that I am older, I see the story as glorifying gender and sex roles for those who are young. I'm beginning to realize why I am so cynical at the concept of love, for the simple fact that it gets thrown around a lot- in movies, television, books, school, jobs, etc.
The way I see it, if I'm going to fall in love- even if it's just once or a billion times- why I can't I do it carefully and with consideration. I don't want to fall in love with a fool because he perceives to have the qualities that I think I am looking for. I want to fall in love because this person definitely has the qualities that I am looking for and even if we don't get married, I want to know that in that moment of time my heart and mind worked in conjunction of each other. I have a habit of giving love to everyone, even those who don't deserve it and I just want, for once, to have someone take that love and hold it dear to them. To feel the same way I do, I don't want to fall in love quickly and surely.... I want it to take time and to be mutual.
Back then, Beauty and the Beast was written when looks was more important than the self- marriage was going to be loveless because people didn't last that long and cared more about their gender duty than their feelings or emotions. If Gaston, Belle, and the Beast where characters put into a story today- and not just based on some folk tale- it would have to deal with angst but one thing that would not be left out is that instant attraction at first glance. The first glance that is mentioned in Twighlight, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, etc where the main characters just know in an instance that the person that they are looking at is going to be a great love in their lives.
This instant attraction is what make people in present time so ready to throw the word love around. They equate that feeling of attraction with "love at first glance" without realizing that everything takes work, relationship and time. I don't get how I'm so skewed with my view on love when most people are so willing to fall in and out of love so quickly and to rush into marriage after less than a year of dating. Age has nothing to do with it, people stay serious monogamers at all ages- it takes the smart and educated people (ie, romantics who realize that love takes work to thrive, not just the cohesiveness that most people believe in) to stay together to make love and (maybe) a marriage work.
Despite its sexist undertones, there is a lesson that I take away from Beauty and the Beast, love is gradual and happens when you know the heart of a person first before weighting the physical attraction. This means that a person can love another, even if they are beautiful and the other is ugly or if the other is ugly and they are beautiful or any variation. As long as they know that this person is someone that they have allowed into their hearts, who has allowed them into theirs and know that this is the person that they want to share love and a life with.
(Although I am a cynic, I do see myself as a romantic)
Friday, November 6, 2009
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2 comments:
If anyone is wondering, I wrote this blog because I feel some frustration over people looking at me oddly when I tell them that I have not been in love yet. Then turn their ear from me when I try to explain to them my ideology behind love. While I know some people who have felt that "love at first sight."
Maybe I feel such pessimism over that feeling because I haven't felt it yet. Or maybe, as I described in my article, I just want my mind to lead me in before my heart.
I have the worst taste in men! When it comes to love, I want it to be okay. Not stupid.
Elizabeth,
Though it isn't directly related to most of your post, you might find the documentary "Mickey Mouse Monopoly" interesting for its analysis of relationships in Beauty and the Beast. It looks specifically at Belle and the Beast and the candlestick and broom.
It's a fascinating film. TCC has a copy, or you can request it via ODU's free Interlibrary loan service.
- c. rhodes
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