Many of you who are close to me know that I tend to take awhile to watch a movie/ read a book/ go to a website that I know will particularly speak to me personally. That's because it is very difficult for me to face things that hit close to home. For such a long time, I felt out of place in my own life. I lived in a world of contradictions. A lot of people grow up and align politically, emotionally, and religiously with their parents. It's easier that way I suppose. But there are those individuals who seem to not only take their own path, but create another one entirely. When Shelby spoke to us about her life in Texas and her struggle within that community, something came over me, like some sort of spiritual sign, that sent my heart at ease. Here is someone who came from the most conservative town in the country and ended up staying with Gloria Steinem. Now she lives in New York City and has a fulfilling life around like-minded people who can support her in pursuing her causes.
The older I get, the more I've come to realize that blood is not thicker than water. So many momentous events have happened to me in my life that have moved me into this direction of thinking. When I was watching the film, I began to cry and then sob when Shelby's mom went with her to the Gay-Straight Alliance March. It instantly made me think of my mom, who recently helped my husband and I create two gardens for our local YWCA Women In Crisis Shelter. She may not understand or want to understand the dynamics of domestic violence but she knew that "flowers bring happiness." It's gotten to the point that I don't bring up any political or social issues around my parents and I rarely see my extended family. I can't forget the things that were said to me as a child. The words I heard. The hate that I was taught. But by watching Shelby's documentary and meeting her in person, I realized within myself that I can forgive.
It's amazing that the generational gap seems even larger when you're in the South. Especially because so much has changed with the passing of Civil Rights and Women's Rights legislation. More and more, the Southern youth are becoming aware of the world around them, but alas, we have a LONG way to go. As a teen, I learned about sex through watching Loveline and the Real World on MTV. Thank God I had common sense because the school system sure didn't teach me ANYTHING about condom use. We were taught the" ABC's of abstinence" in Hampton City Schools. It seemed like every single class, the teacher was adamant about not mentioning abortion and even told us, "don't ask me any questions about you-know-what because I'm not allowed to answer." She wanted to teach us the information but couldn't in fear of losing her job.
The point is that good ole' boys are stilling running the area of Hampton Roads, Virginia and the country for the most part. They pray on hard-working blue collar people like my dad, a retired firefighter. They fill his head with lies about how to hate others simply for their social circumstance. He (I'm using him to represent the vast majority of white males in my area) votes for the good ole' boy because he is thinking with this hate. It is a cycle that I see continued in the white youth of the South. It scares me to think that people I went to school with refuse to see the bigger picture.Watching "The Education of Shelby Knox" and meeting her gives me hope that there is change in our future. I know there are others like me, in my generation, that will change our society for the better. So many people around these parts are quick to say, "you shouldn't move away to escape your problems" but now I can reply with a clear head that I want to move away to be with others that don't make me feel like there's something wrong me. Social movements are successful when like-minded people can come together to make change. I will remember that night in the hostel basement for the rest of my life. She spoke about finding your story in other women's stories. Thank you, Shelby.
"There's nothing wrong with you, there's nothing wrong with her, there's something wrong with the system that makes you think there is" - Shelby Knox
1 comments:
I love this. As a person who's not your best friend = ) its give me hope that people from rural areas that are raised to believe that racism and sexism are right can change their minds. That the God thats in the sky that I have yet to meet or understand has left a few minds untainted by the bullshit that our parents and their parents were led to believe was the way of life. And as your friend, thats why I love you so much. Because when my parents and grandparents taught me to never trust my white friends simply because they are white, How can I live like that? when the only people in my life that have ever excepted me for who I am were white? Shelby's right, there's something wrong with the system? and our generation's gonna fix it.
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