The Top Ten Most Ridiculous List

The Top Ten Ridiculous List

A lot of people say feminism is obsolete, and during the past year, I've been on the fence as to what feminism means to me, and how I can define myself in a 'wave' that can't even define itself. Despite this, in no way can I say consciousness raising about sexism and the exploitation of women should be obsolete. Just in the past week alone I found ten new reasons at work, social events and personal friendships that prove that there is so much more work to be done. You all know how big I am on highlighting some of the most sexist, extreme and ridiculous cultural behaviors and opinions in the media, and today is not exception. Here is my first ever top ten ridiculous list. Feel free to add as you wish.



1. "Ass is the new black"

Every company from Abercrombie and Fitch to Old Navy to -of course- American Apparel has run competitions in the past year to get you to spread eagle for their *free* advertising purposes. Here's the skinny: you take a picture of your booty in their underwear/jeans/ leggings, set the timer on your camera and then bend over porno style and wait for the click. Next, simply upload for others to rate and pick out who has the best booty in all the lands to be the new 'face' of their product. Yes, they actually said your ass can 'be the new face'.

So congratulations, ladies. You've just made complete asses of yourselves. LITERALLY.

2. The Sexualization / Degredation of Girls

From Abercrombie and Fitch's infamous thong underwear marketed to ten year old girls that say: 'Wink Wink' | 'Eye Candy' to those creepy Bratz dolls to Ms. Bimbo virtual fashion online world -marketed to 'tweens'- things have gotten completely out of hand. I can walk into any 'girls' section in any department store and find clothes, shoes and, yes, even underwear, that you can find in the juniors or women's section. Age appropriate please!!!




3. "Thinspiration"

It's bad enough that there are pro-anorexia and thinspirational websites accessible to girls on the web that feature teens & pre-teens half naked and showing off their emaciated bodies in pride, but thinspiration has crept into the shelves and racks of our stores too. Shown here: an "Eat Less" shirt from Urban Outfitters.




4. The Cinderella Procedure

The 'Cinderella procedure' helps women wear seriously uncomfortable heels in confidence...longer! Patients can choose to have their feet narrowed, toes shortened or to have a 'foot tuck pad augmentation' where fat from their stomach is injected into the balls of their feet.

Objective: Ladies, please stop spending every last penny you acquire injecting yourselves with poison and having everything on your body tucked, snipped, tightened and altered. A little pride in au naturale please?




5. Vajazzling

Who says bedazzeling is out!? It's just moved---from your stonewashed jacket and day-glo shirt onto...your vagina! Jennifer Love Hewitt admitted she vajazzeled on the Lopez Tonight Show (see the video here), and went on to say that it 'shined like a disco ball'. Says Hewitt: "For the next week I had this uncontrollable urge to show everyone my crystal delight."

and on that note....

6. Vajacials

....and all sorts of other products and procedures to 'rejuvenate' your nether regions. The Stript Wax Bar in SF, Ca. offers a fifty minute facial-like service complete with papaya enzyme peel, a mask, and a vitamin C lightening cream. Frankly, I'm completely over companies trying to sell me products to uplift my vagina. And as for the cosmetic/reconstructive industry and their 'solutions' for vaginal uplift, they can take their bleaching, waxing, spraying (Instant Virgin spray--seriously look it up) vaginoplasty clipping, pruning, tucking and tightening and just shove it....just not into my vagina!





7. Purity Pledges

....and all the abstinence porn (Twilight), witty catchphrases on Urban Outfitter t-shirts and creepy engagement rings from your dad that come along with it. Did you know that all across America young girls (as young as five!) are taking vows to their fathers to remain pure? These girls dress up in frilly, pouffy white dresses, go into a room filled with crosses and tulle and vow to their fathers their purity/virginity until they are married---at which time the duty passes to their husbands. Here is an example of one such pledge: I proclaim that my virginity is my most precious gift I am able to offer my future husband...I pledge my purity to my father and my future husband. You can read more about it in great detail here in a post I did that outlined the research I did for my presentation in February at ODU. above photo: Reuters




8. The Spanx, The Kymaro, The Thin Lift

...and every other body sucking corset designed to either take away or add padding in particular places. The Spanx -and all other 'alikes'- offer you discomfort and inconvenience all rolled into one ridiculously priced stretchy spandex hell. Not only that, but now retailers are offering their trademarked jeans with 'extras' such as booty lifters or booty boosters to either lift that saggy fanny or give you the j-lo/kardashian look. Yeah, you can keep your spandex girl cages off my body, thank you!







9. The Men Are Better Than Women Website/Book

Since when does making unfounded, ridiculous second-grader claims as to why men should stay on top make you an author? With 'riveting' insights as to why men are better such as men have penises (haven't we been through this before?) and all women are whores (0hhhh...that old standby), Dick Masterson has paired crazy with ignorant and given us a book full of word vomit. I don't think we need to spend anymore time here.








10. "Bad Girls", Victimhood and the ability to get filthy rich and famous by being spoiled brats.

Ok...I might have been the last woman in town to watch Oxygen's Bad Girls Club, but I finally jumped in feet first, and I have to tell you that I'm getting a lens into the complicated stigma behind the whole 'bad girls' persona that is attracting women across America to watch this show. We have all probably been some sort of 'bad girl' at one point in our lives. I say this because just about anything women do outside of the norm is considered bad, and sometimes there's an internal-and in the cases of these girls: external- train wreck that has to happen in order to iron out the way we want to live our lives and the way society tells us we should behave. However, the Bunim/Murray production team has created a real monster here by throwing these seven self-proclaimed bad girls into an alcohol filled mansion without any real solutions to what seems to be plauging them. Just being in close proximity to other bad girls does not equal a solution. Why not have them go work at a domestic violence shelter to highlight the real effects of violent behavior? Or why not immerse them into a community service project that helps them become humble and selfless? I guess that's not good for ratings.

But here is why I value the show -for what it is worth-: it negates the things people have been saying for years about women being liberated and empowered because they can do/say/act like anything they want to. But here, we obviously see how these women get a false sense of being sexually liberated by owning their sexiness, not their sexuality. It also exposes how women and girls today feel empowered through the sheer power of physical ownership, and this ability to be aggressive, rather than assertive in life.

Quote: "I feel so empowered and so much bigger than everybody and just standing over them letting them know: basically don't fuck with me" @ 3:55

BONUS:

Ghetto-opoly!

...and other similar ridiculous things people waste money on. Never mind that playing Monopoly as a child sets you up for comfort within a capitalistic society, we don't want people messing with the real thing. But that is just what David Chang did when he created 'Gettooploy'. Playas (not players!) draw cards from the 'hustle' or 'ghetto stash' piles that direct them with: You're a little short on loot, so you decided to stick up a bank. Collect $75 or rewards them with: You got yo whole neighborhood addicted to crack. Collect $50. Sold at...where else: Urban Outfitters.