From the Trenches

By: Amy

I feel like a newborn baby. Not innocent, nor pure but that so-called “sponge” that everyone mentions about children- soaking up sights, sounds, experiences. Except I feel almost like a magnet to new things. I’m itching to explore life’s diverse multitude of facets because it seems endless to me. And endless possibilities give me a serious high. So when I was offered my current job as a case manager, I jumped at the chance to try something new.

The older I get, the wiser I get. Big surprise. But with that wisdom has come a sense of adventure because I get it. It’s hard to explain but I feel like the majority of the people on this earth do not understand the complexity of life- I’m not just talking about paying bills, acquiring money, eating and sleeping- but really and fully comprehend the cycle of life on this planet. The ebbs and flows of human existence that not just push but jolt us into a particular time, place and circumstance.

In the United States of America we are taught that the “American Dream” can change those circumstances with enough hard work and determination. But I have a feeling after living through my 25 years of roller coaster emotions and “circumstances”, that many human beings simply do not know or cannot comprehend stepping outside of the box that is their social norm. The countless studies, books, journal articles, research papers and lectures I sat through and really soaked into my sponge of a mind told me how to think about groups of people in relation to socio-economic status. But I’m here to tell you that until you actually work directly with human beings that breathe air and eat and poop, you will never, I repeat never, be able to forge your own opinion of marginalized sectors of society without that first hand experience.

The system (I am referring to the government including the school system, the entire social welfare system, capitalism) has failed. It has failed because the factors that shape our thinking in society: media, neighborhoods, teachers, police, coaches, siblings, family, parents, I could go on- these things are caught in a vortex of negative and destructive patterns. We cannot change this happenstance quickly because it has taken all of human existence to perfect these violent patterns of devalued self-worth that millions, if not billions of people on this planet carry with them. And they don’t just carry it with them; they lug it around with them, strapped to their back, eventually wearing down on their mind, body and spirit. This takes a longer or shorter amount of time depending on the person’s inner and outer strength.

This is by far the most challenging job I’ve ever had because it throws the cycle of human existence in my face, the struggles of those caught in the vortex, and the struggle of those working to give others hope. Hope has literally gotten me to the point I am today. Some call it faith. All in all, it’s a belief in something greater than ourselves. I do not believe that we are all just worker bees and some people are meant to be in a lower caste than others in order to make society function. BUT this is how the world has developed over the past couple thousand years. So we just accept it. Those in the margins accept it. And those in higher strata of human existence (that is those that have the luxury to eat, sleep and poop in a clean space, those who are able to throw away their trash and not worry about where it goes) are perfectly content with a society that exploits humans for a small elite’s gain. Those who go with this beehive theory cannot comprehend the beauty and complete contentment that could be possible if every person on this earth worked together in harmony to make the world go round. Money and drugs would be obsolete. This will never happen obviously because we’ve come too far being grimy, greedy and selfish. But there will always be those few that work for the common good. That is why I am proud to be a case manager. I work with those who do not realize their full potential, not just as Americans, but as humans. And I assist them with navigating through a system that sets them up to fail. I may not do this for a long time but I tell you what, I have hope. And that’s all I can do.